THE DA VINCI CODE, He Said: C-

SHE and I joined two friends opening night, one of whom hadn't read the book, in the 2nd row just off to the left and dug into our popcorn as the lights dimmed and the Dolby Digital surround sound roared to life. As my eyes strained to see the screen and I pretended not to be annoyed by the loud sound, I whispered to SHE: "Hey, at least we're not sitting in the front row."

And so began my DA VINCI CODE experience - 150 minutes that I would love to have back. This was one of those rare occassions where the movie lived up to the hype. But in this instance, that wasn't a very good thing.

The reviews were bad. I knew that going in. But still, I was hoping to be surprised. After all, I was expecting bad dialogue and lots of hair atop Tom Hanks. he book was an entertaining read, so I was hoping for a fun translation to screen. Sadly, that would not be the case.

Tom Hanks couldn't have given a less emotional performance if he had mimed his scenes gagged and blindfolded. Audrey Tautou is a fine actress, but perhaps she should stick to French films. She spent the entire movie asking Tom Hanks to explain everything to her and then reciting it back to him. And I couldn't have been more bored. Not really a good thing in a supposed summer blockbuster thriller.

So it's not a genuine "thriller." I think we can all agree on that. However, I think we all know THE DA VINCI CODE will become one of the summer's biggest movies. That goes without saying. It'll open huge because of the book's following alone. How it performs the 2nd week and after will be interesting because I find it hard to believe that strong word of mouth will drive repeat business. And so it will die the quick money grubbing death of so many of today's so-called blockbusters. The movie opens huge to big $$$ profits, but very quickly loses steam. And yet Hollywood continues to churn these out every year. I'm sure foreign box office grosses, DVD sales and product placements have something to do with it. Because it's certain the Catholic Church isn't driving sales for this film.

FINAL VERDICT. So if you're looking to waste 2 and a half hours of your time with mindless entertainment, run fast to the cineplex and go see The Da Vinci Code. But expect to be disappointed. SHE and I both were.

HE SAID: C-

Starring:
Tom Hanks
Audrey Tautou
Ian McKellen